Go Lassie Go

You've heard of Tesco town, what about Tescoshire?

Will supermarkets eventually own the countryside as well as the towns? This was the fear of some  activists at a rural policy fringe meeting I attended at the party's Perth conference. As a prospective candidate for the South of Scotland it's a subject that clearly interests me. It's also difficult to take your journalist's hat off - "Supermarket Scotland" is a good headline...but what lies behind it?

 

There is a real problem attracting new entrants to farming, not just in Scotland. However the agri-industrial complex was not a dominating feature here - something that gave us an advantage in the marketplace, and which sustains our very varied - and culturally rich - rural areas. Farmers have smaller families these days  and often their offspring prefer to pursue different careers. But primary production of food is very capital intensive, so who can afford to buy? Getting credit/mortgages is a problem for all businesses. This report from one of the biggest rural estate agents says neighbouring farmers tend to snap up the land and so you get consolidation. Agricultural land is also seen as a safe investment in difficult times. All this tends to mean that individuals, such as local people  keen to enter farming, have no chance. One Perthshire famer pointed out that Austria, with its small population, supports 190,000 farms, so could we have a cap on farms getting too big? Then there are specific problems such as those faced by dairy farmers who are suffering because supermarkets use milk as a loss leader - you can now buy 2 litres for what you paid for a litre 6 months ago...this needs to be tackled at UK level so we might wait a while...

Supermarkets directly owning the land does not - phew - seem to be happening. But some argue the power of mass retailers over farmers means they are owners in all but title. This vertical integration is evident in both the UK and America, and is outlined in some detail in this article in Corporatewatch

This issue isn't just about farmers, but everyone who lives and works in the country. It's all about keeping young people and families in rural areas - depopulation is a big issue in Southern Scotland for example. There was constructive discussion at the meeting about how smallholders were like crofters without the title - how could they access similar help?  Just finding a place to live is a challenge for people in the countryside, where wages are below the average. There are some innovative organisations building affordable rural housing - often just five or six social rented homes can ensure a community's survival. The Dumfries & Galloway Small Communities Housing Trust was cited as a good example and the Scottish government is keen.  But some local authorities are better than others in encouraging it. There was discussion about renewables and the government's determination to stop The Crown Estate revenues going straight to London - but that deserves a separate blog.

  
Rural Scotland has its problems but there's lots to be optimistic about too, particularly in developing our natural advantages. We hear much about green power in that respect, but traditional land use also presents exciting possibilities.  Richard Lochhead, the rural affairs ministers who spoke at the meeting, has focussed land use back onto food production, which is fortuitous given the world food shortage. He has also just put Scotland's first ever Land Use Strategy out to consultation.  While we might worry about the Tescoshire threat, the good news is more small businesses based on land use are being born. Since 2007, there's been a fresh emphasis on adding value to natural produce - another reason dairy is suffering is that there were traditionally few outlets other than liquid milk. Given that the Scottish landscape is perceived as pristine across the world, there is a lot of scope in developing more food products. It's already well underway. Artisan-style businesses selling everything from tweed bags to whisky laced mustard are sprouting, if you pardon the pun, all over the country. Customers continue to be concerned about the provenance of their food, despite the recession. Sales of Scottish branded food and drink are up by a third since 2007, demand for our salmon and venison outstrips supply and whisky is by far the UK's biggest food export.

Of course independence would help rural  Scotland enormously. Europe will review the Common Agriculture Policy in 2013 and only independent member states have a voice in shaping that.

 

ADD

The ideas raised in the meeting were serious and some will, I'm sure, help shape the manifesto. On the subject of local produce, one of the more light-hearted suggestions will strike a chord with many an ethical-but-weary Scottish shopper. It's all very well having lovely local goodies on display at the Farmers' Market. But why do we have to get drookit looking round the stalls, which are nearly always open air? It's a fair point. Even Glasgow's famous Barras market is mainly indoors these days, so why not produce markets? It's surely enought to know that the beasts had fresh air and lots of water. But it would be nice if we were a bit more comfortable, it might wean some of us off supermarkets too...  

Whisky galore on the floor

Unexpectedly interesting blog of the month is Floorcrunch from  Richard McKay whose Scottish company specialises in bespoke underfoot solutions. Particularly like his whisky barrel flooring, made from oak casks, presumably flattened and de-odorised...not that the whiff of a sweet malt is entirely out of place in the domestic environment. Beats the reek of lino or arcylic carpets any day. For those of you interested in recycled but stylish interiors, Floorcrunch also features flooring made of old wine bottle corks and rugs fashioned from disused bicycle tyres.

I nearly bought an ipad today

 

After 15 minutes demonstrating the ipad, the charming young assistant in Glasgow's Apple Store convinced me I didn't need a laptop or a netbook. This seductive object allows me to write and blog from anywhere I please, while reading War and Peace and the Financial Times App at the same time. It fits in my handbag.  The ipad itself told us the fishing village of Portsoy in Banffshire, where I will be writing my Scotsman column as of next Friday, has Orange Broadband coverage. Sold. But I reached for my credit card too soon. There is a waiting list for the 3G version. My Mac boy couldn't understand why I walked. He offered a place on the PREMIUM waiting list.

I am not the Mac slacker type. I need to sort my mobile connectivity IMMEDIATELY. The saddest thing about losing my job was losing the laptop. Tomorrow I do the ballet run to end all ballet runs - to Cupar - where my daughter sits the RAD Intermediate foundation exam.  And you thought it was just wee coopers who lived in that corner of Fife. Life is full of surprises... Monday is meetings and column writing. Then I am away from home for three weeks. So the luxury of premium Apple waiting lists is not an option. It undoubtedly does wonders for the ipad's must-have status. Remember the Furbie craze of 2000?  Shortages are engineered to create more demand. 

So I went and bought the Orange dongle that Apple had usefully told me was essential for Portsoy. As for the machine, should it be laptop or netbook? The weight of my last laptop caused me fall under a train, so I plumped for the netbook. Having both legs is preferable to a built in DVD drive and a 4GB memory. There are already two powerful desktop computers at home. 

Moving swiftly into Which consumer guide territory, John Lewis is the best place to buy because it gives you a 2 year guarantee. But it's so chocka there is a waiting system - like in kids' shoe shops and Argos. And the sales assistant was so dismissive of netbooks I felt embarrassed wanting to buy one.

Off to PC World and the speedy purchase of a Samsung netbook. A word of warning. The young salesman tried to flog a £3.99 package to cover repair and maintenance. But it can take up to 28 days to repair. To get a quicker service and a replacement, you need to pay £6.99 a month. It's only a netbook so I declined the offer. He puts through my transaction then points out that I have one month's complimentary £3.99 service. How generous. Except that it requires setting up a direct debit which must be cancelled when the month is up. Too old to fall for that one. 

Still I am very happy with the dinkieness of the purchase. Even more happy with the cute little carry case...WHICH HAS HANDLES. Forget RAMS, gigs, and KHz thingies. Swinging it jauntily is so much more important.  Most men I know would disagree. But I did buy my Mini Cooper because it was "pure silver" with leather seats... 

State of Independence

 Persuade Quincy to throw in a few bagpipes and you've got a theme tune....

Happy St Patrick's Day from Serbia

Stumbled upon this extraordinary version of my favourite Irish song, Star of the County Down, from the Orthodox Celts. They are a hugely successful Belgrade band obsessed with all things Irish, a kind of singing theme pub, but with Eastern European accents. The musicianship is impressive -  Serbians have their own version of the pipes. And they added the tin whistle to their line up of accordions, fiddles and bodhrans.

It's not all merry ploughboy stuff either. Look at this version of Drinking Song. Surely that's the Gallowgate on a Saturday afternoon?  Who needs The Pogues... 

Cannot ascertain where they stand politically. They have been around since before the Balkan wars began in the early 1990s. Are they also big in Bosnia, Croatia and Kosovo? Even google isn't that informative on this admittedly rather specialised strand of popular culture. Something called turbo-folk, was apparently a vibrant part of the Serbian music scene in the 1990s. Some bands protested against the aggressive Milosovec government, but others supported extreme Serbian nationalism. Celtic Rock, seems to be different from Turbo-folk. These guys look and sound like they are just out for a laugh. Let's hope so. They have an album track called Lock Lommond (sic). Maybe we could get them to play in Scotland for St Andrew's Day, then go for a jam session in Baird's Bar.

The Wall of Death

Watching the National Theatre of Scotland's Wall of Death is a cross between riding an old fashioned wooden rollercoaster and peering down from inside the dome of St Paul's Cathedral. It's not for folks of a nervous disposition. I thought I was going to watch someone else risk their neck but spent the performance worrying about my own. Usually, we trust performers not to bore us. In this show, we trust them not to lose control and decapitate us. 

Wall  of Death makes you feel like more than a passive spectator. You smell it, in the petrol and hear it, in the deafening roar of vintage motorcycle on creaking plank. You feel fear in remote regions of your brain stem. This family challenge our idea of what art is. Ken Fox, the patriarch who leads the motorcycle stunt troupe, illustrated the contradiction better than any critic when he described himself as a "public performer, but not a theatre goer." Try to see it at Glasgow's SECC, or in Aberdeen. 

Broadway comes to Scotland this Thursday, February 4.

Glasgow and Broadway have a special relationship. Why else do Guys in the city call their ladies Dolls?  The connection is celebrated this Thursday, 4 February, when the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra is joined by 70 talented young singers from Glasgow's schools for an evening of Songs from the Shows. Through a partnership project between Glasgow Education Services and the BBC SSO, pupils from across the city will sing songs from some of the greatest musicals of all time, such as Oliver, Kiss Me Kate and Calamity Jane. The chorus is backed by a superb 80 piece orchestra, the men dressed in white tuxedos and the ladies in black evening gowns. There will be quite a few stunning soloists and the teenagers will be glammed up for the occasion. It all happens in Glasgow City Halls, which will be fully kitted-out in sparkly curtains and Hollywood lights. The evening begins at at 7.30pm and there are still some tickets left. You can book online or pay at the door - see here for details.  Take your mum and your gran to enjoy a night of right belters.

My Noughties Top Ten doesn't include The Libertines

Gerry Hassan has taken a break from imaging the future of political policy development and posted on his top 60 albums of the noughties. And as befits a leading public intellectual, his choices are placed firmly within a socio-cultural context. Here is how he introduces his Top Ten:

Then there is the state of music which engages with and shapes the political mood. Given what has happened in the last decade: Bush, Blair and the march of the neo-liberals, where are the subtle albums and songs about the state of democracy in Britain, America, and the never-ending wars? Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’ hardly counts as a learned tome; instead where are the equivalents of the Specials ‘Ghost Town’ and even Pink Floyd’s ‘The Final Cut’, an album subtitled ‘A requiem for the post-war dream’? 

Gerry is knowledgable about contemporary music, and such a huge fan of Gil Scott Heron  must be a man of taste. Still, I confess most  of his  Top 60  choices  are alien to me, because I let the noughties drift by in much the  same way as the 90s...listening to Aretha Franklin, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding and an infinite variety of Motown compilations. 

I do find time for contemporary artists linked by a thread to such soul greats. But Gerry would probably consider the lyrical content of their work neo-liberal. I have daughters. We share common cultural ground in our enthusiasm for all things urban. When they were young I played them Aretha, they played me Alicia. So my musical decade is very different from Gerry's. It is defined by MTV Base of an evening, Trevor Nelson on Saturday afternoon and Beyonce for breakfast.  From Missy Elliot Getting her Freak On at the start of the noughties, to Will.i.am giving it Boom Boom Pow at The End, R n' B is so driven, life-enhancing and exciting, you can almost forget the passing of time. It's been called brash, sexist and materialistic. Translate that as joyful, sexy and escapist. You can enjoy it and still see through all the misogynist nonsense - we regularly scream mock outrage at the groupie fantasies of the male stars. We love the divas, the dances, camp jokes about bouncing out of the after party on 24s...Beep Beep!  Yes, even sleazy old R Kelly and his outsized wheels are venerated. I am sure Demos once wrote a paper on the dangers of that...

So here, in no particular order, is my own top ten. No albums, that's so 1995. And no obscure tracks either, this isn't the NME you know.

Outkast: Hey Ya!  Yes this picture is exploitative, but in a post-modern way...

Mary J Blige: Family Affair. Produced by God, sorry, Dr Dre

Pharrell Williams: Frontin'   Boy genuis in a rare bashful moment

Missy Elliot: Work It   I'd also feel like doing this if I had just lost six stone

Beyonce: Crazy in Love Noughties Anthem, has to be

Tweet: Oops (Oh My)   For lovely ladies without a lumber

Usher: Yeah  Not one for the feminist consciousness raising group, but perfect for every other occasion 

Kanye West: Gold digger/Diamonds are from Sierra Leone It not always about range rovers you know 

R Kelly: Ignition Dare you not to dance

Eve ft Gwen Stephani: Let Me Blow Ya Mind Real girl power..samples  one of the first reggae crossover hits

                                          

Shamless plug for wonderful Hue and Cry Christmas album

Pat Kane,  the silver tongued singer/blogger/intellectual who just happens to be the father of my children, has a new album out. It's called Xmasday and it's a fabulous mix of new material  and interesting covers - I challenge you not to cry to the soulful version of Rolf Harris's  Two Little Boys, the best ever anti war song. It's sentiment for people who don't do sentimental. Think Marvin Gaye's Christmas in the City. You can buy it here at Hue and Cry's own site.

To think all this seasonal good cheer is coming from a man who once threatened  to tell our kids Santa was  a mythical patriarchal construct. Until I threatened to impale him on the nearest set of reindeer horns....now he has the zeal of the convert, as is demonstrated by this album, and his legendary Santa reply letters complete with hoof prints. 

       

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIP HOP

Thirty years ago this week Rapper's Delight by the Sugarhill Gang became the first Hip Hop chart hit. Some will quibble and say the plaudit belongs to the Fatback Band and Hip hop itself is older. Everybody on the scene in the late seventies expected Grandmaster Flash to have the first hit. But let's celebrate by enjoying the video anyway. The BBC have run a good anniversary piece. And there is also a hip hop point and click atlas showing the genre's influence around the world .

Rapper's Delight samples the song Good Times by Chic whose Nile Rodgers I recently interviewed for The Sunday Times.  As well as being a brilliant and influential musician (he produced Sister Sledge, David Bowie, Diana Ross aand Duran Duran) he is a thoughtful and politically astute person. Or as another writer tweeted after reading my piece: "Boy Scout, Black Panther and God-like Genuis". 

Rodgers has used his wealth to set up the We Are Family Foundation .   It brings young people from different cultural backgrounds together in the wake of 9/11, builds schools in the developing world and runs an inspirational teen leadership programme.